When It All Burns Down
by Mizt
Summary: AU. Sequel to WAGTH. Lavi was mistaken, thank God. Allen was alive. But now Lavi has to find a way to resurrect his and Allen's friendship. Is it possible? Laven. M for drug use, language, suicidal thoughts & attempts, & implied character death.
1. The Weight Of It

**A/N: **Originally, I decided to leave _We're All Going To Hell _as a one-shot. Though once I reread it, I didn't want to leave the ending as Allen dying. That's a little too harsh and sad, even for me and love stories like that.

Anyways, here's the squeal to it. I hate to say it but it'll probably be updated more frequently than _Fate _and _Damn, You Look Good_. I have more ideas for this story then those two. Saddening, I know because I _really _want to get those stories rolling.

This isn't going to be one of those 'OMG Lavi you almost killed but I forgive you so let's have sex and live happily ever after' stories. Though, I do love those kinds of stories as well, I want to portray their hardships after the incident and Allen's struggle and resentfulness of forgiving Lavi and Lavi's on trying to forgive himself.

Enough of the talking, let's get to the story. Hope you enjoy.

P.S.- This story is rated M for cursing, drug use, and in later chapters, possible yaoi.

* * *

Lavi didn't blame the older crimson-haired man standing in front him for all the hurtful remarks that was rolling off his tongue, directed towards him.

How could he?

It was his fault. And though it felt like someone was stabbing his heart with a rusty dagger, it was _entirely _his fault.

"You're damn lucky that I haven't called your grandfather and told him every fucking detail," Cross threatened, finger dangerously close to Lavi's face.

"I appreciate that, sir," Lavi quietly mumbled, head bent and eyes focused on his Vans as if there was something intriguing about them.

"Ha," the older male growled. "You better fucking appreciate, you lowlife. You almost _killed _my nephew. If I wouldn't have come home when I did, you'd still be clutching his body and crying like the idiot you are. Lucky for you _and _the boy, I took some EMT classes."

Though Lavi knew this wasn't the time to be thinking on it, he was amazed to hear that the older redhead had some form of medical training. He always thought Allen's guardian hadn't done anything with his life besides drinking, smoking, and having sex with random women.

But…he was glad he did. Because if it wasn't for Cross, Allen would be dead. Where Lavi thought there was no heartbeat or pulse, Cross told him there was but they were faint. He hated to admit it, but Cross was right. If he hadn't have come home earlier, Lavi would still be bawling his eyes out and Allen would have ceased to exist.

"You're right, sir." Lavi still didn't dare look up at the furious man before him.

"You're damn right damn I am," Cross sneered, placing his finger on Lavi's chest and pushing him. "Now, get out of my fucking sight before I change my mind and _do _call your grandfather."

Not wanting to be in the presence of the hostile redhead just in case he decided to take some drastic measure to get rid of him himself, Lavi pivoted on his heel and walked at a quick pace to the hospital's exit.

Sighing once he was across the threshold of the sliding doors. Shoulders slouched forward; he headed in the direct of his residence, not able to get his mind off Allen and his well-being.

* * *

Though he desperately wanted to, but also didn't want to feel the wrath of Cross Marian, Lavi decided against going to see Allen the day after the incident.

The only thing he feared worse than facing Cross was facing the kids at school. He knew he could skip out on school though his grandfather wasn't home. He couldn't visit Allen and if he stayed home all he would do is dwell on the incident and mope around all day. Plus, he had already missed the maximum number of days allowed. News traveled fast in _Millennium High _and Lavi knew this. Honestly, he didn't care what the others at school _thought _happened, he knew the story would be get twisted around and the truth would soon be lost, but there was two people in particular he didn't want to hear the story.

_Lenalee and Kanda._

He knew Lenalee was going to be completely and utterly disappointed. As for Kanda, he shuttered at the thought of what the hotheaded Japanese was going to do to him.

Sighing loudly, Lavi grabbed his school blazer from the coat rack and headed out the door, already dreading the day ahead.

* * *

The looks he received from the kids passing by him in the hall were to be expected. He knew he was now labeled the school druggie and the guy who almost killed his best friend because of his awful habit. The expressions on their faces were of mixed emotions. Some wore masks of disbelief; others were of disappointment, sadness, and anger.

He paid them no mind, though. Keeping an eye out for the two he dreaded seeing the most now. He knew it was inevitable, though. He had half his classes with Kanda and seen Lenalee throughout the school the whole day and in lunch. _Might as well get the physical and emotional ass kicking over with early…_

"Hey, Usagi!"

And as if he could read minds, he heard the voice of Yuu Kanda loud and clear through the hallway. And it was evident that he was _highly pissed off._

Slowly, while praying to God his face wouldn't collide with a fist right off, Lavi turned around. Seemed like God answered his prayers. Well, sort of. Instead of Kanda's fist slamming into his face, a face wrapped around his throat and felt his body thrown against the lockers lining the wall.

Blinking in surprise, Lavi looked up into the face of Yuu Kanda. Even though the Japanese's scowl was a permanent feature, today it was deeper and more sinister, with his teeth bared like a threatened dog.

Standing off to the side next to Kanda was Lenalee. Lavi was right, the look Lenalee was giving at the moment made him want to crawl into a dark corner and die. Hurt, disappointment, anger, and was that hatred as well? Probably. And if it was, he didn't blame her. But she couldn't hate him as much as he hated himself right now.

"What the _fuck _do you have to say for yourself?" Kanda growled out, and to Lavi's amazement, in a deathly quiet voice.

Lavi didn't say a word. Instead, he casted his one eye down to his shoes like he had did the day before with Cross.

"Well?" Kanda asked, roughly shaking the boy under his grip. "You could have killed the damn moyashi and all you can do is stare at your goddamn shoes like there's something so fucking amazing about them?!"

By this time, the others in the hallway had stopped to watch the scene between the two males. Lavi still didn't say anything and keep his gaze averted from his hostile classmate in front of him.

Another rough shake and Lavi closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He wanted to say; _This is nothing compared to what Allen's going through, _but he knew if he mentioned Allen's name right now to Kanda that he would only serve to piss him off more.

"Do you even care, Lavi? Do you care that the moyashi's in critical condition because of that _shit_ you fed him? Because I don't think you do. I think you wouldn't even shed a tear if he had died. I think-"

At this point, he had heard enough. Lavi grabbed the Japanese's wrist, gripping as hard as he could, causing the other to blink in surprise.

"You think…I don't care?" he said, voice strained from his attempt to keep the tears that were threatening to fall back. "You think I don't care about Allen's well-being? That if he had died that my life would be all fine and dandy? That I wanted him to die? Well, _fuck you, Yuu_."

Half way through Lavi's small rant, Kanda had let go of his neck. Rubbing the reddening spot, he shot back the hard, cold glare that Kanda was also directing towards him.

Turning his back on his two friends, Lavi started back down the hall and towards his first period class. Biting his lip, still trying to hold back the tears, he vowed he would make this up to Allen, Kanda, and Lenalee. And though it would be extremely hard, to never touch that drug again.

He knew it wasn't going to be an easy task.


	2. Hell To Sell

**A/N: **I originally wanted this story to be called '_It's Not A Side Effect Of The Cocaine, I'm Thinking It Must Be Love,_' but it was too long D:

Sorry it took so long. _Fate…_ is my top priority right now though so I didn't want to work on this until chapter six was out. Seven is half way done ^O^

A couple of things: I don't want to make Lavi seem like one of those clichéd characters where when he loses Allen he just wants to kill himself. The suicidal thoughts in this story stem from the fact that they're a very common symptom in cocaine addicts when they're going through withdrawals as well as the itching, irritability, cravings, fatigue, and insomnia. Or so I read in the Medical Encyclopedia.

Sorry for such a short chapter. I only received four reviews on the last chapter and I don't want to put too much effort into something no one's going to read.

Also, R.I.P Michael. I will greatly miss you D: I don't care if you hate him or believe any of that bull that surrounded him. You can't deny that the man was, and is still, a genius when it comes to music. Long live the King of Pop!

* * *

The looks and whispers from his fellow schoolmates through the day was almost too much for Lavi to bear. Even the teachers were sending him dirty looks and would start to whisper when he passed. If he wasn't afraid his Grandfather would somehow find out, he would leave school early and go somewhere that was far away from his peers. And the fact that Kanda and Lenalee were still giving the redhead the cold shoulder was heartbreaking.

He couldn't concentrate on his work at all. Once he thought he could, his mind would instantly wonder to Allen and his well being. He hadn't received any word from Allen or his uncle, which didn't surprise him, and since him, Kanda, and Lenalee weren't on speaking terms at the moment they hadn't told him how the snowy-haired teen was doing either. He wanted nothing more than to go and visit Allen but he knew if Cross Marian seen him step one foot into the hospital, he would also be in the ICU.

Lavi was relieved when the bell signaling the senior's lunch sounded. He knew that since winter was looming near that no one would be eating at the outside tables. So that's where he was heading after he pulled on his onyx school blazer. Though it would only be for forty-five minutes, he would at least get away from the stares and the whispers.

Leaning against the cold brick wall, Lavi dropped his backpack and slid down to a sitting position on the equally cold concrete. He bent his knees up to his chest, propped his elbows up on one, and rested his head on the palm of his hand. His one eye that wasn't covered by the awkward black eye patch stared down at the cracked cement; it's once vibrant emerald color blank and dull.

His mind was swimming in his own thoughts and self pity. In less than seventy-two hours, Lavi had lost everything he held dear to him: his best friends, his reputation, and his reason for living. And to top it off, he didn't have any of stash left at his house and he was starting to go into withdrawals.

"Fuck," Lavi growled out as he scratched the top of his unruly crimson locks. He knew this wasn't the time to think about his nasty habit but he honestly couldn't help it. He was starting to carve it and he was beginning to become irritable. "I fucking hate my life."

"Whoa Usagi. What's got you going all emo?"

Lavi snapped his head up and was met up the cold, dark eyes of Yuu Kanda. His muscular arms were crossed over his broad chest and his ever present frown was plastered on his thin lips. His expression didn't show any signs of disgust or hatred, in fact it was rather blank.

"What do you want, Yuu? I thought you hated me." Lavi sneered rather harshly. The withdrawals and being in the presence of his Japanese classmate was causing him to become even more irritable.

"Che. I've always hated you."

Kanda took a seat next to Lavi, ignoring the fact that the one eye wonder used his first name. Staring ahead of him he spoke again, voice voided of any type of emotion. "I'm still highly pissed off at how idiotic you are but ignoring your presence is going to help the situation."

"Thanks I guess" Lavi mumbled, picking at the grass that was growing through one of the cracks. He was trying hard to listen to Kanda, he honestly was, but the thoughts of cocaine and the fucking itching sensation taking over his body were trying to prevent that. And with that thought, he started to scratch fast and impatiently at his forearm. Kanda watched with a raised brow for a minute or two but quickly brushed it off.

"So Lenalee received a text from the moyashi."

Lavi ceased his scratching and his tensed shoulders slumped forward. He was trying not to think about Allen because when he did it caused his stomach to painfully knot up. "Is that so?"

"Yeah. He said he's feeling sick to stomach and can't keep anything down but other than that he's fine."

"That's good."

The lump in Lavi's throat disappeared when Kanda let him know about Allen. At least he wasn't suffering from anything too bad. Though he knew it was probably killing him not being able to keep any food down.

"He said he should be out in about three days. Lenalee's throwing him a small get together when he gets out. She also told me to invite you."

"Ha," Lavi snorted, shooting Kanda a deadpan look. "Seriously Yuu? Does she honestly think Allen wants me there, not to mention he probably doesn't ever want to see my face again?"

"You're probably right but she still told me to invite you."

The bell sounded, signaling the end of their lunch period. Lavi grabbed his bag as Kanda stood and turned his back on his redheaded frienemy. "So are you going or not?"

Lavi sighed as he slung the bag onto one shoulder. Of course he wanted to go. He wanted nothing more than to but he was positive Allen hated him now. And until he found a way (if it was possible) to make it better, he wanted to distance himself from the snowy-haired teen, not giving him any more reasons to want to murder him.

"I'll let you know tomorrow."

* * *

Lavi was lying on his oversized bed, throwing a rubber ball in the air he had found in the back of his closest. He would have never found the small toy if it wasn't for the fact that he pretty much spring cleaned his whole room to try to rid his mind of his withdrawals. It worked for a few hours but there were only so many times you could reorganize your closet.

After that, he tried playing his guitar for a little while but quickly grew tired of it. Now it was one in the morning and he was trying to do anything to keep himself from scratching his flesh until he bled. The exposed skin of his bare chest, arms, and face already had blood red whelps that matched the color of his hair.

Of course he was tired and he had school the next morning but his mind was too cluttered to sleep. He wanted nothing more than to grab his cell phone and call up his dealer. He had dialed the number countless times but somehow regained his senses before hitting the call button. He was afraid that if the itching and fatigue and thoughts of just getting his fix didn't disappear soon he would surely go insane or probably even put a gun to his head and pull the trigger.

_That's not such a bad idea…_Lavi thought as he ceased the throwing of the stupid ball. If he were to just end his life then he wouldn't have to worry about the constant cravings and the fucking annoying itching. He wouldn't have to worry about the disappointed and angered looks of his peers and he would save Allen the trouble of tearing him apart verbally.

Lavi quickly shook his head with a sigh. Killing himself wouldn't prove anything other than that he didn't have the will power to go through with trying to come clean. He started to scratch at his upper right arm again. He started scratching so hard that he broke his skin and a thin line of crimson liquid started to flow down his arm. That's when Lavi reached his breaking point.

Reaching over to his night stand he picked up his compact phone and scrolled down through the contacts. Finding the one he was looking for, his thumb hovered over the call button for a moment. He really didn't want to do this but if he didn't get something in his system, he would drive himself crazy.

Actually hitting the button his time, he held the phone up to his ear. It rang two times until a male voice sounded through the ear piece. "Yeah?"

"Hey Devitt, yeah it's Lavi. Yeah, it's been a few days. Yeah I need some. How much? A half ounce. Ha, it is less than usual but I'm er, kinda tight on cash this week. Where do I want to meet? How about the old mall parking lot? Alright, see you in twenty."

Lavi shut the phone and rushed over to his closet. He pulled out a hunter green hoodie and pulled it over his exposed chest. Grabbing his wallet, cell phone, and keys he handed over to his bedroom window. He slowly opened the window, ear open just in case his Grandfather wakes up and decides to check in on him.

Once he had successfully slipped through the small opening, he started to jog towards his old Pinto. Jamming the keys into the ignition and the car roared to life. Peeling out of the driveway, he headed in the direction of the old mall.

The whole ride, he couldn't help but wonder if this would come back and bite him in the ass. He was leaning more towards yes, yes it will.


End file.
